.Publisher's Note: The complying with is actually the message of a character coming from Exploration 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Resigned), reviewing the occasions of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not composed quite regarding specifics of this objective during the course of the month I've been actually here, primarily for 2 main reasons: the initial being actually that there has actually been extremely little bit of opportunity to do that type of writing, and also secondly because I am actually unsure exactly how comfortable I am actually sharing thoughts I share with friends and family with the remainder of the globe.Well, clearly the planet altered today. What I say or carry out is actually incredibly slight contrasted to the value of what occurred to our nation today when it was actually struck by ... by whom? Terrorists is all we know, I suspect. Difficult to recognize at whom to guide our rage as well as anxiety ...I had just ended up a number of duties this morning, the most taxing being actually the physical exams of all crew participants. In an exclusive discussion observing that, the tour plastic surgeon told me they were having an extremely negative time on the ground. I had no idea ...He explained the situation to me as absolute best he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was overwhelmed, then frightened. My initial thought was that this had not been a true talk, that I was actually still paying attention to one of my Tom Clancy strips. It simply really did not seem possible on this incrustation in our nation. I couldn't also envision the particulars, also prior to the updates of further destruction started coming in.Vladimir visited fairly swiftly, picking up that something incredibly serious was actually being talked about. I swayed Michael in to the module as well. They were actually additionally astounded and stunned. After our team authorized off, I made an effort to describe to Vladimir and Michael as ideal I might the possible immensity of this particular act of horror in downtown Manhattan and also at the Pentagon. They accurately recognized as well as were actually incredibly considerate.I eyed the World Map on the computer to see where over the planet our team were actually and also discovered that our company were actually happening southeast away from Canada and would be skipping New England in a few moments. I whized around the station until I located a home window that would certainly provide me a perspective of NYC and also grabbed the nearby electronic camera. It occurred to become a video camera, and also I was actually looking south from the home window of Michael's cabin.The smoke cigarettes appeared to have an odd blossom to it at the bottom of the column that was actually streaming south of the city. After reading some of the news articles our company merely received, I believe our experts were actually checking out NY around the time of, or even not long after, the crash of the second high rise. Exactly how horrendous ...I swept the video camera the whole time the East Shore to the south to view if I can find every other smoke around Washington, or anywhere else, yet absolutely nothing was visible.It was actually rather tough to consider job afterwards, though our company had some to accomplish, but on the next orbit our experts went across the US further south. All 3 people were operating a couple of cameras to attempt to obtain sights of Nyc or even Washington. There was actually fog over Washington, yet no particular source may be found. All of it looked extraordinary from a couple of hundred kilometers away. I can't think of the unfortunate scenes on the ground.Other than the psychological impact of our country being dealt with and also lots of our consumers and maybe some friends being actually gotten rid of, one of the most mind-boggling emotion being actually where I am actually is one of solitude.Following day ... I guess the fatigue and also mental stress acquired the very best of me. I couldn't keep awake and also continue to create. Today was still challenging, but our experts began acquiring more information, plus our team possessed the respect of chatting directly with the Facility Supervisor, Roy Estess, who guaranteed our team that the ground teams would remain to function and guarantee our safety and security, in addition to the safe procedure of the Place. We additionally learnt through our Manager, Mr. Goldin, that included that the partners in the Program are actually all completely committed to continuing risk-free operations and assistance. These were never ever concerns for me. I understand all these folks! The ground crews have been actually exceptionally supportive, extremely understanding of the influence of the information, and also have actually made an effort to be as practical as possible. They have all been really specialist and centered though I can not think of the disturbance of this particular sort of news coming in as well as the notion that government structures might be in jeopardy. They never ever bypassed a beat, even when transferring nerve center. And a team of senior personnel as well as buddies gave our company a rather detailed rundown on what was recognized and what was being actually done in the government and also at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was actually incredibly helpful and kind of them to perform in the midst of all the distress. The Russian TsUP has additionally been supportive and also beneficial, attempting to uplink news articles when our personal possessions were unusable, and saying kind phrases ...My crewmates have been actually fantastic, as well. They know it's been a challenging time for me and the folks on the ground, as well as they have actually made an effort to be as also keeled as well as beneficial as achievable. Michael even corrected me my beloved Borscht soup for supper. As well as they offer me a lot of room to think when I required it. They are extremely supportive as well as of course shocked at whoever would do this.I understand so many people in Washington, many individuals who take a trip to DC as well as NYC, a lot of who are pilots, that I really felt sure I would get a minimum of a few parts of problem over the following couple of times. I received the 1st one today when I knew that the Leader of the American Airlines plane that attacked the Pentagon was actually Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I met Chic in the course of cadet summertime when our experts resided in the D&B with each other, and also our experts possessed considerable amounts of lessons with each other. I can't envision what he needs to of looked at, and also now I hear that he may possess climbed additionally than our company can also consider through probably preventing his aircraft from being the one to tackle the White Home. What a horrible reduction, however I make certain Chic was battling fearlessly throughout. And tears don't stream the same precede ...It's tough to illustrate exactly how it feels to be the only United States completely off the planet at a time including this. The feeling that I need to exist with each of you, handling this, helping in some way, is actually mind-boggling. I know that our company get on the threshold (or past) of a horrendous switch in the record of the planet. Many factors will definitely never be the same once again after September 11, 2001. Not simply for the 1000s as well as countless folks directly impacted through these hideous actions of terrorism, yet possibly for everybody. Our company are going to discover our own selves feeling differently concerning loads of things, consisting of perhaps area expedition, regrettably.It's unpleasant to view smoke pouring coming from wounds in your own country from such an awesome perspective. The duality of being on a space capsule committed to enhancing live on the planet and also seeing life being actually damaged through such intentional, awful actions is jolting to the subconscious, no matter who you are actually. As well as the understanding that whatever will be actually various than when our company launched by the opportunity our company land is actually a little bit of disconcerting. I have confidence in our country and in our leadership that our experts are going to carry out every little thing feasible to much better shield her and our households, as well as to bring justice wherefore has actually been actually performed. I have peace of mind that the excellent folks at NASA will certainly perform every thing needed to continue our mission safely and securely as well as return our company safely at the correct time. And also I miss out on each of you significantly. I can't exist with you face to face, as well as we possess a very long way to head to finish our purpose, but be actually particular that my heart is with you, as well as recognize you are in my requests.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the last letter ... Luckily, it's been a busy full week up here. As well as to confirm that, like our nation, our experts are continuing our desired pathway with service as usual (as high as achievable). Tonight the most recent add-on to the place, the Russian Docking Area will certainly be actually launched from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (United States time), it will definitely dock along with our team, at a slot certainly never used prior to on the low point side of the Service Element. This brand-new element will definitely offer our team one more place to dock a Development or Soyuz as well as will supply a large airlock along with 2 able to be used hatches for conducting EVA's in Russian Orlan fits, which our experts will perform a few of prior to we get home.The concern just before in coping with today was insufficient updates. The issue now is actually a lot of. It came at one time when e-mail was recovered, and also there is actually insufficient time to read it all! Plus it's as well hard to handle all of it at the same time. But I appreciate acquiring it, and I definitely value the wonderful characters of support and relationship I am getting.Our experts are actually doing well on board, acquiring our job carried out, and speaking about things. Final evening our company possessed a long conversation over supper about the significance of these occasions, the achievable actions to observe, and what should be actually performed. After dinner, Michael resolved telling me that every email he received from pals in Russia claimed particularly to inform me exactly how regretful they were that this happened, stretching their condolences, and also inquiring exactly how I was actually performing. Vladimir showed me the Russian term for "condolences" after talking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Urban area. (Both the Russian as well as the English terms are actually considerably very long to pronounce conveniently.) Extremely kind individuals.For the last two days, the Russian MCC has actually been good enough to send real-time broadcasts of broadcast news concerning the celebration as well as connected stories, to be sure I was actually well educated. Every expert who has actually begun free throw line to talk about a method or even an issue has at some aspect prolonged greetings to me along with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom informed us that because of the big day of recognition in the United States, all day people had been carrying florals as well as lining all the wall surfaces of the US embassy in Moscow, and also this evening they were lighting candles in the street outside the consulate. Exactly how the planet has actually altered.Folks anywhere appear to recognize the senselessness and also scary within this strike. As well as the enormous loss. Moscow has actually handled these type of troubles in the last couple of years with home and train bombings, so they are as nervous to remove this threat as our experts are. Yet the bottom series is actually that there are actually excellent people all over that desire to reside in calmness. I review that a kid inquired, "United States is so really good to other nations, our company always aid every person, how can they despise our company a great deal?".I wish the example of teamwork as well as leave that this space probe plus all people in the plan illustrate daily will someday encourage the rest of the globe to operate the same way. They must!Sadly, our company will not be taking flight over the US during the time folks are igniting candlesticks. Do not recognize if we can see that anyway. Our team performed, nevertheless, see an extremely uncommon as well as lovely sight a few minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz booster. Our team were eclipsing it and it appeared regarding three minutes after its launch coming from Baikonur as the sunlight struck our station, so it was actually still unaware. It seemed like a sizable comet with a directly, vast tail silhouetted versus the black earth beneath. Even with some bad lighting fixtures for a while as the sunshine reached our home window at a reduced viewpoint, I managed some video of it as to begin with our experts passed the rocket, and then enjoyed it start to mesmerize as it acquired height as well as rate. I filmed up until primary engine cutoff and enhancer splitting up happened equally our team came close to dawn on the Himalayas. An unforgettable view in a remarkable full week ...Life goes on, also in space. Our team are actually here to keep ... Frank.